when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’

everyone lost their shit and i got second place

If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something

(Source: thewinterswidow)

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I admit, I am an asshole. But I got a nice booty and my hair soft so I feel like I deserve the best like ????

(Source: carnivour)

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Does Canada even have a president or is it just whichever moose has the strongest antlers

Jul 28 / 281,134 notes
" Never beg someone to stay "
- my five word story  (via asdfghjkllove)

(Source: curse-of-curvess)

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